Amidst the frenzied streets of central London I have sought out the calm to piece together my thoughts on where life has taken me this past month. More and more I have found myself asking the question, where do I want to see myself in five years? Ten years? Too often I have found myself looking for answers to how I should live my life now, by imagining the far future where a multitude of uncertainties lie.
Why do we gravitate towards looking for clarity in the now, by attempting to construct what our futures hold? While I do believe there is some good in having a general sense of where it is we would like to see ourselves in the future, planning it out in a highly detailed fashion is hardly beneficial. It's difficult to predict what tomorrow might hold, therefor, I gather it's almost near impossible to see how we will be living our lives in five years time.
With all this focus on the future, and aiming for what we want our lives to look like years down the road, it detracts from the nowness. We forget to live in the present because we are so focused on tomorrow. I believe we should aim to spend more time asking "what is it I want to do right now?" Because what we do in the present will determine how the future moulds itself.
I have spent a great deal of time the last few months going back and forth between where to continue my journey after this school year comes to an end. I spent a great deal of time putting a lot of emphasis on my decision and how it would effect the way in which my life would play out five, ten years from now. That in itself was cause for a great deal of stress, indecisiveness, and general procrastination.
When it came down to brass tacks I have realized and accepted this beloved city is far too expensive to inhabit at this current point in my life. This reality has not been an easy one to accept, hence the two month fight to find a way to avoid it. Beyond that however, I have discerned that what I truly want to do right now can't be found in a classroom. I have constantly gone against the grain when it comes to pursuing my passions. Never one for the traditional route and always a fan of blazing my own trail, I have settled on moving back to another city I hold dear, Kansas City, to focus on growing my blog, sharing my love for health and overall well-being with others, and gaining experience in design and craftsmanship any way I can.
I do not want to be one to say no to any opportunity that comes knocking, I never know where it might lead me. The biggest transition I am working on right now is to grow and develop my blog. I am in the process of a "reboot," a "redesign" if you will. I have been working day and night to hone what it is I want to bring to my readers in the future, what I want this little slice of the world wide web to bring to the table. This includes a fresh new name, and a specific focus on the character of the blog. I am finding my niche, and it might seem easy but it is far more difficult, and more tedious than one might be led to believe. I want to work on developing my voice and perspective so I, in turn, can share it with you.
As I sit here in my kitchen finishing this post, I can't help but glance out the window every time a train rushes by. It reminds me that opportunities come sparingly and when they do they very rarely wait for us to jump on. We must commit to what we want, what we aspire towards, otherwise we inevitably end up stuck in the doors or missing the train entirely.